take me out w/ the crowd

best quote ever 

(via Cardinals Diaspora: via Big League Stew: via Google Reader: via them internets)

what do gay bears and the world series have in common?

no cubs.

41 days til opening day.

takin' care of bizzzness

this article details what the arizona diamondbacks (baseball organization, ami) are doing to cope with the recession.  basically, they are going back to basics with increased customer service.  while this seems refreshing in today's times, i think customer service is the hallmark of any business.

some of the establishments which i love are the ones that make me feel important for spending the benjamins there.  it seems so novel that a business would actually go out of its way to figure out what its customers want.

here are my top 4 things to keep my business:

1. don't charge too much for drinks -- alch or otherwise
2. have staff on tap just to answer questions on the floor
3. LIGHTING
4. access ease (if i have to go to hamburg, i will probably be in a bad mood when i get there)

what are your rules to keep your business?

the era*

as many sports nuts and non-fans alike know, this weekend brought about one of the most surprising disclosures of the era*.  a. rodriguez, formerly of t-ball players' dreams, of latino players' fandom, and of the general savior label, admitted to steroid usage.  for at least three years.  

now, i am a baseball nut.  i watched the congres

sional hearings 4 years ago.  i read buster olney, peter gammons, and howard bryant on a regular basis.  (anyone else?  no?  just me...)

but this one caught me by surprise.  this one was a doozy.

here is my PED (performance-enhancing drug) manifesto:

• you are a cheater
• you are a liar
• ALL of your records deserve to be wiped out
• hank aaron should chew you out
• you should be embarrassed of yourself because you hurt your family and you make every one else** look bad
• you should NEVER ever get into the hall of fame
• you are worse than corey patterson (yes, yes, i said it)
• ALL names of positive tests should be released.  if not, it would be like the police searching random homes, having a list of drug dens, saying to the public "hey, we have this list of really crappy people", and then not releasing it.  as dave ramsey says, if you have a wound, don't let it fester.  don't do things to make it bigger.  take off the bandage, look at it, and start helping yourself feel better.

the worst part about a. rodriguez is that he stood idly by while people labeled him baseball's "savior" and was OKAY with deceiving everyone.  get a life, seriously.  what would your kindergarten teacher think?!

i will NOT call you a-fraud, a-roid, or a-rod.  as i tell my students at school, it's not cute OR funny.  so stop it.

you deserve small balls, a high voice, and a completely tarnished name forever.  cheat.

*you do not even deserve an asterisk

**i love you sean casey and all other clean people***

***please let griffey be clean.  i don't know it i could take it.

"08" (2008 in quotes)

here is espn's absurd sports quotes from 08.  a few of my favorites:

25. "Then why are you covering the [Washington] Nationals?"

Speaker: Presidential candidate Ralph Nader
Context: Nader to The Washington Post, after the paper decided not to cover his presidential bid because he had no chance of winning.
Absurd because: Come to think of it, this quote makes perfect sense.
Numerical score: 0

(blogger's note: agreed.  and the nationals are actually just made up of the reds' sloppy 2nds)

6. "I think they do it to look good in the lobby in their three-piece suit."

Speaker: Roger Clemens
Context: The Rocket explaining why athletes use performance-enhancing drugs in the first place.
Absurd because: Clemens wore a two-piece suit to subsequent Capitol Hill steroids hearings ... thereby proving his innocence!
Numerical score: 90

(blogger's note: you are a ridiculous person.  my kindergarteners have more common sense than you do.  you are a disgrace to baseball...not only b/c you broke the rules, but b/c you thought you were ABOVE the rules.  i wish you would get pulled over for speeding and land in jail.  plus, you are greasy.  that is all.)

baseball 08--strange but true

here is a column from one of my favorite baseball writers (jayson stark).  he writes about all of the strange things that happened during the 08 baseball season.  this includes a game that took 4 months to play.

the most interesting detail involves ken griffey jr.  on april 28th, he was still with the reds.  also on that day, the white sox (his future and current team) started a game that wasn't finished for several months (due to weather and scheduling).  griffey was traded during the 4 month lull.  he ended up playing for the white sox to finish out the game, but since the game had started on april 28th, it went in the books as an april 28th game.  therefore, according to the stats, he played games for two different teams on the same day.  

check out what espn had to do to make the computer accept this.

95 days til opening day :)

hot stove game

check out this site to see how good you are at naming all 30 MLB teams in 3 minutes.  

NO PEEKING!!!!!

http://www.jetpunk.com/quizzes/name-major-league-teams.php

i got 29/30.

and yes, this is what baseball fans do for fun in the offseason.

beisbol

today was the last day of the regular season; always a sad time in my life. my resplendent redlegs are out of the playoffs for an 18th straight year, but beisbol was good to me this year.

in honor of my favorite sport, i have created a "good/bad" list of things i like and don't like (excuse the lame name...it's 11pm on a school night).

15 good things:

1. 100 RBIs
2. 6-4-3
3. outfield assists
4. baseball movies
5. baseball books
6. uniform pinstripes
7. extra innings
8. pitchers who can hit
9. SCORING A GAME :) :)
10. replay
11. Jon Miller & Joe Morgan
12. Brennamans
13. Buster Olney & Peter Gammons
14. backing up every play
15. batting around

15 bad things:

1. not running to first
2. all-white home uniforms
3. long pants to the ankles
4. wasting pitchers for L/L, R/R matchups
5. ol' leatherpants (aka: Jim Bowden)
6. Sox vs Yanks ad nauseum
7. corey patterson & adam dunn
8. sac bunts with one out
9. DH
10. all-star voting
11. cheerleaders
12. "speeding up the game"
13. new helmets w/ the slits
14. the wave
15. people who explain the rules wrong to others

i'm sure there are MANY MANY other things i could list. but i love beisbol and i can't wait until it starts again.

j. hamilton

as i'm sure most of you have heard, josh hamilton became a "breakout star" last night at yankee stadium by blasting 28 home runs in the first round of the home-run derby.

i think i am one of the few baseball fans left in the lexington area...especially one that DVRs baseball tonight, reads 3+ baseball blogs a day, and knows the names and histories of all baseball broadcasters and most reds since 1990.

hamilton's story is one for hollywood or hemingway. he overcame addiction and came out the hero of the bronx.

i can say, with authority, that i saw this coming. i saw it coming during the lazy days last season, when i got the hamilton jersey for my birthday. the day hamilton was traded for volquez was the second saddest day in my personal baseball history (the day casey was traded made me cry).

the one thing i can't stand, though, is all of the bandwagon people. one look through google blogs today points to tons of new posts about being a hamilton "fan". where were you when he was on the reds? where were you when he was on the DL twice last year? where were you when he was first traded to the rangers? oh, that's right, you were doubting his abilities and his story. or you were too busy jumping on (and then off) the rays bandwagon.

i wear my hamilton jersey regularly with pride...even on off days. (**note: i would wear my casey jersey if it still fit :/ ...thanks college**). i couldn't be happier about his sudden rise as a "breakout star" among the many hamilton "fans". however, to me, the true fans are those that were there through the entire process. i am very proud the reds were the ones that offered him the fresh start.

it's obvious i have some sort of issue about bandwagon people. does anyone else get irritated when they hear people extoling the virtues of people you have long known about?

hi, my name is...

rapid-fire update:

• good lord, redlegs. PATTERSON hitting leadoff? dusty the douche needs to grow up and remember he's not managing the cubs anymore.


• dunn DOESN'T have a passion for the game. he is the laziest and suckiest player ever. i'd take 18 million griffeys over him anyday. go back to tex-ass and sit on yours you oaf.


• the JJ concert was AMAZING. i didn't much like the venue, but JJ was wonderful. he played many of my favorite songs.


• erica is in meh-he-co with her lover and his fam this week. i am anxious to hear about their adventures (and perhaps a ring?) when she returns this weekend.


• RIP tim russert. your zest and whiteboard brought a sense of home to an otherwise elite political world.


• i love joe torre's brand of managing. PLZ come to cincy!


• we had a wonderful vacation in florida. we went to all the disney parks and recouperated on the other days. it was so fun to relax and brush off the school year.


• we got my dad a new kitten for father's day and she is so freakin cute. she doesn't have a name yet, but she is gray, 8 wks old, and tiny. lily is none too pleased about it. being around the kitten has really made me want to get lilah a playmate. if i find an orange female kitten, it's mine.


• my lease is up on sept 1. i would love to move downtown. anyone know of any great rental properties that are NOT on campus?


• yoga tonight.


• there is this kid on my brother's baseball team. i literally cannot stand him. i know i tend to be crotchety sometimes, but this kid is more than i can stand. he's 16 with a trash dash and a baby on the way. more than his problems in life, i can't stand the way he hangs outside the dugout with his entourage during the game. he couldn't give two shits about his team or teammates. i am kind of a baseball purist and i can't stand it when one person thinks they are bigger than the team (see: clemens, roger). also, he is inconsistent at the plate and on the rubber. he threw his bat last night all the way to the dugout, THEN the coach apologized for getting on him. grow a pair! after all of that, his mom handed him a cigarette on the way to the car. yeah...smoke in front of your baby mama who is carrying your unborn child you POS. i have NO PATIENCE for low-life, low-class people like that in this world. sorry....had to vent that somewhere.


• we are thisclose to signing our contract for our reception site. :)

the kid

congrats to griffey for hitting his 600th homer tonight. you are the fifth* player to do this and i am proud to have you on the hometown team. (*i do not count barry lamar bonds as having accomplished this feat. he's a cheater AND a douche bag)

hooray junior!

on the road again

greetings from the road! we have internet at our hotel in cleveland. here are a few highlights from our trip so far.

• a glorious lunch at wendy's
• 90s sing-along
• catching the bus by a nose.
• "um...what do i do, then?"
• honey brown at the stadium
• nacho cheese waffle fries
• blind pig -- sing along and free beer
• losing our way back to the bus
• interesting bus ride back through the heart of cleveland at night

today, we are travelling to chicago. we have no game today so we are going to soak in some of the sights. au revoir, friends.

PS: friday night, i'm going to the 80s dance party at the dame. then, keeneland on saturday.

PPS: RIP mr. wildcat

PPPS: dang you, darren horn.

wanted....alive.

i swear, i'm not dead. time has just slipped away from me. chris was in town last week and it was wonderful. finishing up KTIP crap. march madness. PLUS i called the bottom FOUR in antm last week.

i hope to update before monday morning. the bestest and i are taking a baseball roadtrip. i couldn't think of anything else i'd rather be doing.

the rocket's red glare

roger clemens is a douche bag.

i'm ready for spring training.

i'm not ready for dusty baker. blah.