here is espn's absurd sports quotes from 08. a few of my favorites:
25. "Then why are you covering the [Washington] Nationals?"
Speaker: Presidential candidate Ralph Nader
Context: Nader to The Washington Post, after the paper decided not to cover his presidential bid because he had no chance of winning.
Absurd because: Come to think of it, this quote makes perfect sense.
Numerical score: 0
(blogger's note: agreed. and the nationals are actually just made up of the reds' sloppy 2nds)
6. "I think they do it to look good in the lobby in their three-piece suit."
Speaker: Roger Clemens
Context: The Rocket explaining why athletes use performance-enhancing drugs in the first place.
Absurd because: Clemens wore a two-piece suit to subsequent Capitol Hill steroids hearings ... thereby proving his innocence!
Numerical score: 90
(blogger's note: you are a ridiculous person. my kindergarteners have more common sense than you do. you are a disgrace to baseball...not only b/c you broke the rules, but b/c you thought you were ABOVE the rules. i wish you would get pulled over for speeding and land in jail. plus, you are greasy. that is all.)